A month past, and much has happened. For some reason, we can't go to our bar without getting into fights with middle aged women. The first time, it was my fault.
These two women come in, bar hoping. They saddle up next to me to get shots and they keep hitting my chair. Leaning on it. Elbowing me in the back. There are only so many dirty looks I can shoot someone before I get irritated. When the women finally go to leave, I see the first one pass by and I lean in to my fiance, mutter "Thank God they're leaving", and the next thing I know, the second woman is in our face yelling at us: "Were you talking about me?"
Now, I'm usually the one in the relationship that antagonizes people. But my fiance proceeded to ridicule her for cutting into our conversation, one that had nothing to do with her. Even though it did.
Then, on the 4th of July, my fiance, our friend (who loves to get into logic arguments), and I go to the same bar (like I said, it is our bar). We eat dinner at a table and, when room opens up, we move to the bar. Our bartender makes room for us, a nice woman and her husband slide down, and the world is right again. Until the three of us engage in one of our favorite pastimes: arguing about language, logic, and semantics. Until this point, the woman who moved over had made a few comments along with us, and the bartenders, while we watched the fireworks. Everyone was having a good time. Until she heard me say "Irregardless is a word".
She literally leans across my friend and adds the convincing argument of "It's not a word. It's not a word. It's not a word." to our discussion like an ignored 4 year old.
The woman would not stop talking. She would not let us speak. So, to refrain from hitting her, I got up to use the restroom. She yells, "See- see her leaving instead of staying and talking this out? So typical. Just like your generation."
My friend, an apparent expert in handling crazy, drunk, Baby Boomers, manages to get her twisted up in her own logic (which included the revelation that we're a cult and we question too many things nowadays). Her final statement? Getting up mid-sentence and walking away.
Camping this weekend was more of the same. A close-minded person stirring up shit based on Wikipedia-gleaned facts that they managed to memorize and trot out to feel smart.
The moral of this story, kids: be prepared to defend yourself. Be smart and out-wit.
Or just have a lot of booze on hand.
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